Happy Birthday, Mrs. Swanigan!

So tomorrow would have been my Nana’s 76th birthday.

I miss that little old lady.

She was sassy. She was wise. I loved her point of view ‘cause she held no punches.

So on this day, I reflect on the many nuggets she left me. I’ll grab a banana and a Pepsi for breakfast, drink too sweet coffee all day and possibly break out in her favorite personal tune. She’d sit in her favorite rocking chair, rail back and play her imaginary banjo.

I loooooooove to go fishin’.
I play Bingo too.
I loooooove to play Tonk.
And get your money from you.

She’d end this song with gibberish (something like “adukie doo adukie doo adukie doo doo) and do some old inappropriate dance created in somebody’s jook joint on 1951.

Yeah, I couldn’t make that up if you paid me.

SMH

NANA-ISMs: Random Words of Wisdom from Mattie P.
(Revised and contemporized by her fifth granddaughter)

1. A man don’t want to smell you in three places. One is your breath, the other is your arms, and the third? I don’t have to tell. Nana would most assuredly be a fan of the Always personal wipes.
2. Don’t ever borrow money from a person who’s known for loaning money.
3. Nobody likes a dumb woman but a dumb man.
4. Be a lady until you hit the address your bills come to.
5. No one should know what your figure truly looks like but your husband.
6. Do your own daubing. (This is a bingo reference. The dauber is the ink you use to mark a number after it has been called. Her translation: pay your own fare and manage your own business so you leave owing no one anything.)
7. I’m a half pint but 100 proof. (Nana’s way of saying Real recognize Real, no matter the packaging.)
8. If you can cook, clean, go to church and understand sports, you have absolutely no excuse not to have a boyfriend, unless you’re certifiable crazy…..or you got bad genes.
9. Spend all that money of clothes if you want to. Women care about what you wear. Men care about your hair and hygiene. Keep that up first.
10. I don’t raise suckers, liars, thieves or quitters.

Last but not least:

Men and friends come and go but Jesus is always with you.